the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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