and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
