just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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