I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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