Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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