Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize