Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
