also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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