I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
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Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He shit in the fireplace
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