Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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