sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When are your genitals available?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
