we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
