He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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