If i come over, it means nothing
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
