My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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