Jerry, you need to find god
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
