Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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