Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
