trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
