Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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