im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
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Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
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Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex