Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
only if we run a train.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.