Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it