dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.