i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate