i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.