So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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