google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
