oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
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