I got chris browned last night
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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