I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think my fart just growled at me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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