and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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