8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
