Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
