her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
