hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
