38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I cut my penus on the lid.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
