So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
