Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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