Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
