oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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