Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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