I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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