I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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