we're blogging at a bar
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
