my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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