remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just cut my nipple shaving
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
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Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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