Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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