Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You smell like stripper and shame
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
