When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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