Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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