Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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