i think my mom watched the whole time
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
