So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
