he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
