i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
