I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
