i need an iv and a liver transplant
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
