I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
