i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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