Define "chronic" masturbator.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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