He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
