He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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