either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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