dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
