Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
